March 7, 2007



Oh boyeeee it's been a long time since I've decided to actually review a freaking soda in here and what comes to those who wait? Vault fucking Red fucking Blitz. Yeah, it's pretty much the soda equivalent of Alfonso Ribeiro but as many producers have said about Alfonso, "It'll have to do."

So the story begins early this morning at about 1:00 AM in whothefuckknows, TX which might as well have been the hometown of this guy. In fact, I think that Grandpa was the cashier at the gas station where I saw the Red Blitz for the first time. Either way, I was surprised to see this new flavor of Vault which apparently just launched on March 1st. In a way I shouldn't be surprised because the original Vault was a direct rip-off of Mountain Dew and so this new "Vault injected with a Berry Blast" is a direct rip-off of Mountain Dew: Code Red. Now I acknowledge that this happens all the time, Pepsi Vanilla ripped off Vanilla Coke, Coke Blak ripped off Pepsi Kona, etc. but if Vault releases an orange and grape flavored Vault to match Mountain Dew Livewire + Pitch Black, then a foul really should be called.

In terms of the actual beverage, I actually like it better than the original outing from Vault. It is very red, I think red enough to be scientifically dubbed "a blitz" which is a good thing. It has the same overall flavor as Vault with a hint of some kind of dubious berry infused with it to make a palatable enough taste. Again, I was never in love with the original Vault and I think I might have enjoyed it simply because I was tired and the promise of caffeine and energy ensured me that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel, but this isn't much better. At least it'll give Coke an excuse to release a bunch of ridiculous flavors to combat the large hold that Mountain Dew has on the Cool Boy Citrus Soda market...

6/10

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I Hope That Joe feels better !

krisan said...

vault? i'm totally out of the pop loop, i'll blame it on pay at the pump gas stations and bottled water.

Michael said...

Sam, will you ever be willing to give Mountain Dew: Baja Blast a second chance? I can't believe you compared it to Windex. Not cool, m'buches.

-Rem

Ryan said...

Vault look amazing. British soda is so boring

Anonymous said...

I don't know, Mike. I'm still standing by my "Baja Blast tastes like Windex" comment. Having everyhone puke after eating at Taco Bell isn't going to make me try it again any sooner either...

-sam

Anonymous said...

Sam, I hate to break it to you, but Coke had a product called "Red Flash" before Pepsi invented Code Red. I drank Red Flash in January 2001. I'm not going to claim Red Flash was the first soda of its kind, because it wasn't, but don't act like Pepsi is any more original here.

These flavors were already out there, and as far as I know, the first company to produce them all under one unifying name and heightened caffeine level was Jolt. They didn't have an equivalent of the Baja Blast, but they had everything else - citrus, orange, grape (which was white instead of black), blue, red, cherry cola, even an espresso version.

They were delicious.

- Cheston

Anonymous said...

Cheston....

Yes, I acknowledge that many soda flavors existed before, but in terms of being a Mountain Dew rip-off, you can't deny that this is exactly what Vault is. Red Flash? Red Flash was a product made by Coke to combat the popular drink "Big Red" in the South. It doesn't taste a lick like Mountain Dew-style soda, it's not even supposed to be citrus, it tastes like "Big Red" so just because it's red doesn't make it a valid taste argument. In fact, it's just another argument that Coke ripped off another flavor from the Big Red company. Big Red still exists, does Red Flash?

-Sam

Anonymous said...

Hi Sam.

I don't know what you mean by "mountain dew style" soda. Code Red is meant to be cherry flavor. If it were grapefruit like Ruby Red Squirt or something, then I'd see where you're coming from involving citrus and some connection between the MD sodas beyond just their name.

Instead, the important connection here is red-colored sodas with some form of berry flavoring, so it includes Red Flash.
I'm sure you're right that Big Red did it before any of them, but I don't see what that changes.

Let's just call Red Blitz pretty tasty and enjoy it, eh?

- Cheston

Sam said...

Agreed.

-Sam

Darvin said...

Hello, I think your blog is very interesting and useful. Energy drinks are very helpful when you do need to sleep and besides they have different tastes and flavors. I like Vault Soda is my favorite drink. Doctors claim it (and the rest) to be harmful for the health because of its ingredients. Besides, consumers tend to claim as well. You can look up all the complaints on www.pissedconsumer.com.