August 16, 2007

Sam Hughes Reviews: Mountain Dew Game Fuel (in assosication with Halo 3)

Sam Hughes Reviews: Mountain Dew Game Fuel (in association with Halo 3)






When I first heard about this product, my “what the fuck?” alarm went off in my head. A whole soda based around a videogame? Aw, hell no, that just isn’t going to work! The more I thought about it though, the more it makes sense. What is the stereotypical drink of the stereotypical dude living in his stereotypical mom’s basement playing a stereotypical first person shooter? Of course, it’s got to be Mountain Dew. That’s how those dudes stay up all night fraggin’ and shit. Anyway, the team up between Mountain Dew and Halo 3 also includes Halo 3 fucking Doritos. Now, I don’t know whether they get their own special flavor or just more Master Chief money shots like the Dew bottle got, but I think it just makes this team up even more powerful. I don’t even really want to imagine exactly what Halo 3 tastes like anyway. Gun powder? Alien Intestine? Either way, it definitely couldn’t be any worse than the X-13D Doritos. They sucked!


As I said, the packaging is kind of how you’d expect. It’s got a picture of Master Chief (star of Halo for those who don’t know) looking badass alongside a different colored Mountain Dew Logo and the words “limited edition” and “game fuel” (not to confused with Gay Fuel) Upon opening the soda which claims to be “Dew with an invigorating blast of citrus cherry flavor” I was greeted with quite the pungent odor. I’d liken it to the sensation of sniffing gasoline fumes at the pump. I mean, yeah it smells awesome, but that shit can’t be good for you. It’s also just a bit too radioactive looking to me. It certainly shouldn’t be a surprise by any means, considering this is a Pepsi product and those guys have produced a chemical product worse than fucking anthrax.


In terms of taste, it’s not nearly as bad as Pepsi Blue. It tasted very familiar at first and I think that I have found the culprit. To me it tastes like a hybrid of Mountain Dew Baja Blast and a Cherry Slurpee from 7-11. Since 7-11 is also co-conspiring in this whole campaign by selling the Doritos, I wouldn’t be surprised if they just let the Pepsi people just take some of their unused Cherry Slurpee syrup and make another soda out of it. Another issue of confusion here is if this is a cherry version of Mountain Dew, then what the hell is that Mountain Dew Red Fusion shit we’ve been drinking? It doesn’t really taste the same at all, so I don’t really get it. Different kinds of cherries? Whatever. This thing, along with the Doritos will sell well (I think) because assholes like me love to buy into this thing. I’m may never even play Halo 3 but I’m all psyched about there being a soda about it. The soda is alright. Not better than original Mountain Dew, but better than Pepsi Blue. A huge accomplishment, right?

6/10

9 comments:

plingativator said...

I'm so glad that someone is writing a review of this drink. I found it quite informative. This is definitely why the internet was invented, although its inventors did not yet know it at the time of its conception.

I have decided not to drink this. Though to be honest I was a complete sucker for the "collector" cans that pepsi made back for star wars episode 1...

alisa said...

i saw a bunch of that kind of soda at target. it doesn't really look appealing to me. but who knows my nerdy halo friends might by it and make me have one.

Michael said...

Sam, how is anyone supposed to take seriously your critique of a Mountain Dew product when you're so obviously biased against Mountain Dew: Baja Blast?

Joey said...

It's not very good.

(Baja Blast is amazing. Your face stop.)

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the love for Baja Blast, I really don't. I just thought it tasted like chemicals...I don't know. Otherwise I don't have a problem with Dew products.

-Sam

Chris said...

so here's the deal almighty Spinto Band: I was out at a family reunion in Michigan over the weekend, and while making a futile to golf I stumbled upon a soda so perplexing my mind nearly exploded. It's called Vernor's Ginger Soda, and it tastes like someone bottled pine tree sap, and then got the bright idea to sell it as soda. To make it even worse, it seemed to burn my nasal cavities every time I took a sip. Yet, fueled by my bewilderment at what an "Original Ginger Soda" entailed, I gamely downed the entire can (and then swore never to drink the foul concoction ever again.) Apparently if you so desire you can purchase some of it online (why anyone would want to buy it is beyond me) at http://www.beveragesdirect.com/products/vernors/
although your chances of finding it randomly out in CA might be a bit thin. keep it up with the awesome reviews!

Thomas said...

Chris,

I just saw a six pack of Vernor's at Galco's. I've had it before, and have friends who swear by it. I kind of like it, but I'm partial to Ginger things in general.

by Derek Blank said...

The secret flavor of X-13D Doritos was cheeseburger.
Check out their website.

Blogger said...

Do you drink Pepsi or Coca-Cola?
SUBMIT YOUR ANSWER and you could receive a prepaid VISA gift card!