March 27, 2008

Brain Thrust Razzery

To celebrate the release of We Are Scientists' new life improving manifesto, Brain Thrust Mastery, we thought it might be fun to dig up some Scientist paraphernalia from the Spintonic Archive. Here is a little background information to preface our findings:

We had the pleasure of touring with these self-help gurus (along with shock-rockers, Art Brut) in the tail-end of 2006. On one of our many 8-hour drives, we found ourselves in bumper-to-bumper traffic approaching the United States / Canada border. With nothing better to do, we began observing the vehicles around us, stating a hilarious superficial judgment every now and then. After a couple minutes of this road-side joshery, we recognized the white van behind us was none other than the We Are Scientists Mobile!

What a PERFECT opportunity to play a prank on those unsuspecting dance-punkers! We quickly brainstormed and came up with an infallible plan: we would write a note that said "Hey, dickfores! Get a life!" and place it on their windshield. We would then drive smoothly across the borders without them even knowing what hit 'em! This was going to be like a real-life version of Punk'd! But ONE THOUSAND times better!!!

So we put the plan into action. Jeff quickly ran back to their vehicle, planted the devious note under their wipers and sprinted back to our van. We all laughed maniacally as their bear of a tour manager confusedly removed the piece of paper and brought it into their van to read to those unwitting Sci-Guys. A success! We began closing in on the border. They couldn't even retaliate if they tried!!!

But traffic was moving slower than expected. We began to sweat. We knew that Keith Murray kept a loaded weapon with him at all times, and he wasn't afraid to use it. A couple of minutes later, an envelope arrived on our windshield. "Don't even open it, just drive!" cried Sam. Unfortunately, the writing on the envelope gave us no other option.

We had had enough trouble with Canadian customs before, so we didn't want to take the risk of just leaving it there, so we opened it. The letter read:

It was then we realized the truth in their Brain Thrust Mastery teachings. Never enter into a battle of wits with We Are Scientists. You will lose. You will be razzed. You will be denied entry to Canada.


Anonymous said...

wooo ; good story! :D

Rose said...

haha that's hilarious! (:
thanks for sharing

Katie L. Thompson said...

If you still have that letter, you should ebay that shit; them UK fan girls would pay good money for that.

Also: What's a "dickfore"?

krisan said...

hahaaaaaa, of course you cannot battle them dudes!!

quite frankly i feared being denied back into america. firstly he was pissed that i answered "indiana" when he asked "where do you live?" then he didn't believe us when we said we didn't go to canada to do our grocery shopping. is it that unbelievable to come back from another country having bought nothing?

but then again we had the pepper spray problem when entering. canada definitely blows.