October 26, 2009

Dickerbocker of the Day Award

One of the pleasures of touring is traveling about and being introduced to daily doses of new places and new faces. Sometimes, the new faces strike a chord and leave an imprint in our consciousness that needs a title. We have decided to title these people the Dickerbocker of the Day. The Dickerbocker of the Day excels in such talents as cutting you off on the highway, disrespecting your friends, walking away while you ask a question, or trying to steal your credit card number. Some days, it is tough to choose a winner of the Dickerbocker award, but other days, it takes some serious deliberation to narrow it down. We usually gather the selection committee in the van after the show, and as we drive to our nightly lodging, attempt to decide on the dickerbocker of the day.

For example, the Dickerbocker of the Tour (so far) goes to the Dickerbocker of the Day for last Friday (pictured below).

This dickerbocker-supreme happened to be behind a bar we stopped at with friends. We ordered some drinks from this man (shown here with a hoodied accomplice) and then ordered more drinks and sat at his bar for quite a while. During this time, it became apparent this guy was a total dickerbocker. He ignored us, and pretended to not remember who we were... He also charged us different amounts for the same drink! In the end though, he won the award for his contorted facial features and hand gestures that led us to believe he had a little baby raccoon that would squirm about whenever someone ordered a drink.

Runner up (so far) of the Dickerbocker of the Day is a guy attempting to steal a Credit Card number by offering a gift certificate from wal-mart. The committee apologizes to this man, if he called sincerely with a gift certificate, but found it hard to believe he lived in Nevada, but didn't know where Reno was when we asked.

The selection committe doesn't stop at the Dickerbocker Daily Award. They go the extra mile to award someone the prize of GOOFENBACKER OF THE DAY. Goofenbacker of the day is awarded to the person who excels in such traits as intoxicated flirtation with the waitress, actions resulting in wife or girlfriend sitting at least 40 feet away, over-competitiveness in non-competitive gaming, and an overall obliviousness to all actions. In summary, the goofenbacker of the day usually thinks, in his own head, that he is the coolerbacker of the day.

For example, the Goofenbacker of the Tour (so far) goes to a tremendous Goofenbacker. He won the award, almost sealing a lifetime achievement award in the process. It was a stranger (artistic rendering to the right) who ran away with bocker of the Day for last Thursday. Again we found ourselves in a bar, minding our business, when a neighboring patron approached us with a toast. Before any of us knew it, we were drinking to the following, "Cheers to being single, seeing double, and sleeping triple." It is important to note that Goofenbocker made this toast while sitting next to his wife and sister.That was just the start of the goof. Other amazing feats this gentleman accomplished were:

-Doing pushups in the middle of the bar
-singing Eye of The Tiger at maximum volume
-telling the waitress, "keep an eye on me! I'll be needing you a lot tonite."
-Utilizing erratic postures while attempting to dance with his wife, forcing his wife to exit the dance floor.

The list goes on from there, but the committee wants to let it be known that to win either Goofenbocker of the Day or Dickerbocker of the Day, one must portray unique traits not mentioned in this post as the most important feature of any Dickerbocker or Goofenbocker is the ability to make us laugh about them on the drive home.

We will be announcing the awards daily via our Twiiiittter feed.


Anonymous said...

You guys are amazing. Just thought I'd let you know how happy this made me.

lisa said...

Thanks, it made me laugh ... a lot.

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