Oscar doesn't remember eating 2 mint It's Its on Friday night, but I do. He loved them. He made love to them. The Spinto Band had to try it. So late last night we stormed the local Safeway and bought all the It's Its it took for us to be it's itsed out. That was about 1 each.
Thats how the start of our tour went. Not including the 15 hour drive and the delayed flight that landed us in the wildly chilly city of San Francisco, the first thing worth writing about was ice cream sandwiches. Well, that and the fact that its Julie's birthday today. She was so nice to us it felt like it was our birthday! She fed us cake and and rolled dice with us last night.
"Dice?" you ask.
yes, dice. I would like our tour manager, Professor Jeff "dice" Van Fossen to explain the rules to the game that helps the spinto band kill time before arctic monkeys song comes on SNL.
1. get your money out! this is gamblin'... so put the kids to bed and the wife out of the kitchen- stat!
2. everyone throws in a dollar to a hundred dollars (or a quarter depending on how hot you like your doritos)
3. the object is to get the lowest score possible with the 5 dice... like miniature golf. low man takes the pot, while everyone else dreams of what could have been.
4. you roll and roll, keeping at least one die every turn. you can keep two die if you want to.
5. 3's are worth zero. those are the keepers. the rest of the numbers are face value. making 1's pretty good and 6's pretty lousy. 3's are king.
6. try to get all 3's. keep your lowest die each time, until all 5 die have been kept.
7. the dice get passed in the circle, everyone gets a turn.
8. repeat. if you won the last round, you are obligated to play in the oncoming round.
wait- which Jeff? isn't the drummer of the band named Jeff? no, the tour manager is? wha wha wha?
ok- we developed a system. Since our drummer collects tarantulas (and then gives them to a friend named Brian Witte when it becomes inconvenient) one thing we call him is Spider-Jeff. Also, since our drummer has a doctorate in restringing sweatshirt hoods, we sometimes call him Dr. Jeff or, because there is only one Dr. Jeff in the pond, we just saythe doctor.
Jeff is a bit trickier... I mean, the tour-manager-non-spider-Jeff. Sometimes we just ignore him, others, we have to acknowledge him due to his undies-optional policy. we usually say, Dirty Jeff or Dice-Jeff. he's also a vegetarian so sometimes we call him asshole.
it seems like the two Jeffs like to call each other doctor and nurse. whatever thats about.?.
If anyone can think of any better nicknames for these two, feel free to let us know.