May 13, 2006

The Great Burger King Grift of Naught Six

First, if you work at Burger King, this write-up is basically about how Burger King is awesome, so you can probably skip it if you want. You guys are doing one heck of a job over in the Burger Kingdom…take it easy bros!

Okay, for everyone else, today I discovered an amazing little trick…a tasty trick. Today I figured out how to buy a Burger King Veggie burger for 50p less than it normally costs.
The whole discovery, started when we were at a rest stop somewhere along the M6. Arriving at the rest stop, my stomach rumbling, I found myself face to face with some pre-packaged sandwiches, some pastry from a coffee stop, or a veggie burger at Burger King. After a lap around the rest stop the lesser evil appeared to be the veggie burger. As I waited in line, I checked the menu for the prices… £ 3.09 for the veggie burger on its own…seemed like highway robbery, but at least it was less that the tomato mozzarella wrap (£ 3.45!). At that moment I had a slight hankering for the salty sensation caused my french fries. I looked at a price for one of the ‘meal deals’ but it was almost £ 5 and included a soft drink that I really didn’t want…then I thought maybe I could buy a small package of french fries, but all I could see was a ‘regular size’ (it was pretty big) fry on the menu…and it was over £ 1 … ehh I didn’t feel like eating a big ol’ batch of french fries anyway. I ordered my humble sandwich, moved to the right and wait for my food. While I waited my eyes wondered across the various signs over the counter. I read about baguette sandwiches, a breaded chicken snack, and looked over the 99p menu…but then my eyes caught what would become the most significant rest stop discovery of the tour: the Kids Meal menu.
The Kids menu works like this: for £ 2.59 you pick one item from the sandwich list, and two items from the periphery list…these items are thrown into a playful bag with a toy and the Kids Meal is complete. The sandwich list contains the standard burger or chicken-thing, options and the periphery list had kid size fries, small drinks, juice, even an apple and grape snack bag conveniently called the ‘Grapple Bag’ (clearly a product of the Burger Jesters quick wit). Anyhow, also included on the sandwich list was ……… the veggie burger.
Wait a minute, you mean I can buy my veggie burger for 50p less and also have a french fry thrown in, or even a Grapple Bag! Surely there had to be some pre-cooked-weight-slight-of-hand going on, or maybe a kid size veggie burger…something! Hold on a second, would a big ol’ company really go to all the extra effort to manufacture two different sizes of an item as peculiar as the veggie burger? I suspected they wouldn’t, and I had to find out.
I saw Tom in the distance looking at candy bars and filled him in on my Adult Sandwich / Kids Meal duality of the veggie burger hypothesis. He was intrigued and hungry so he decided to help me with the test. The mission was simple: buy a veggie burger Kids Meal and compare the Kids Meal burger with my standard burger. The anticipation was killing me, and I was so excited I eventually had to go wait in the van. Finally, Tom returned and the moment arrived for us to compare our veggie burgers…
The two photos below show each of our meals. The Roald Dahl Frobscottle Swiggle Berry Juice Drink is included in both pictures as a reference to show scale.






As you can see the burgers are virtually identical with the only real difference being the sesame seed bun used in The Kids Meal. Additionally, look at all the goodies tom chose from the periphery list…fries, a drink…and don’t forget the toy. Please note that Tom specifically ordered a plain veggie burger, so the cheese and lettuce are absent from his sandwich, but this is negligible.
The real feather in the cap is that the Kids Meal comes with a mini french fry as well...the perfect combo for me! Wow, what else can I say, I almost want to go buy a Kids Meal just for the satisfaction of the hustle. After a job well done and a hypothesis well proved we all celebrated by playing with the spinning Kids Meal toy.



This discovery is a real breath of fresh air and has brought back the magic of rest stops for me…a sensation I haven’ felt since ahhh before you were born. It is as if I found the key to a secret door somewhere deep within the Burger Kingdom. Now I must pass this key on to you in hopes that the great knowledge of the Adult Sandwich / Kids Meal duality of the veggie burger will never be lost!

-nick

12 comments:

mogs said...

More importantly, who purchased the quiche lorraine from sainsburys?

Spintonic said...

wow...good eye. looks like someone needs to fess up!

Anonymous said...

That Roald Dahl juice box is awesome. I read Roald Dahl when I was younger, but I wouldn't open the BFG book because I was afraid of his ears.

betsy said...

i love the burger king veggie burger...and i always love a toy...a new way to combine two loves

T said...

I heart burger king...

just think nick, you could have saved a total £5.50 (approx.) if you hadn't bought wallpaper! ;)

Spintonic said...

grift number two:

wallpaper was free at the holiday inn!

Spintonic said...

i thought i should add this little BK aside we got from our bud James:


"I read with interest your diary entry about the Burger King Kids Meal vs. Man-sized Veggie Burger trade off. You might also find it interesting to know that if you order a Bacon Double Cheeseburger Meal and ask for extra lettuce, pickle, onion, ketchup and mayo you almost get a Double Whopper Bacon Cheese but for a fraction of the price. They have to give you the extras for free so you can Have It Your Way. And usually they cook it up fresh so it tastes slightly less like cardboard than usual."

thanks James...let’s all keep passing on the BK hustle torch.

Anonymous said...

those sandwiches look mighty tasty!

T said...

free copy of wallpaper! That's some posh hotellage...

I'm loving the freeloader expertise... next I want to see you get upgrades on planes..

Megan said...

So what's with the different buns? Do they think kids will like sesame seed buns more? Or maybe they think that kids will inevitably have some sort of food fight, and throwing sesame seeds would be less of a problem for other customers than if they started throwing other stuff....

Anonymous said...

Those Roald Dahl drinks look great. My kids would love them, where can I get them from??

Regards,
Matilda!!

Anonymous said...

I agree, they look fab. I have seen them in Waitrose and Ocado. Think they are £1.29 for a 3 pack.